Teddy Pig's Guide To Excruciatingly Painful Basic Leather Protocol

Belonging

Leather is "Not For Everyone"
This is a statement I have made and it is one I will stand by and I say it not to discriminate or belittle anyone; I say it simply to warn you. I have met many people in my ten years in the Navy that broke under the pressures there. One day they stopped understanding the boundary between reality and fantasy and stopped being able to check themselves and their heart and mind in that balancing act we all do every day; something snapped, something went terribly wrong. A lot of these people had no physical scars on them. Leather can do this to you also, usually with someone else’s help unfortunately, but it happens more than you think. The scars I have seen, unlike the ones I was exposed to in the Navy, have been physical as well as emotional.

Every act YOU do in Leather, every scene YOU are in, and every decision or commitment YOU make, has some risk or danger involved. Granted, some are greater than others. I was taught this by observing Basic Leather Protocol, up front; from the first time I did a scene with John, when he asked me abruptly if I had too much to drink. It was communicated to me by my Top from that day forward clearly, without a lot of words and without negotiation it was simply there, in the way John cleaned the needles before using them on me, the effort he made to make sure I felt the connection between us when he kept eye contact with me throughout that very first scene and it was physically present in our relationship from that time on and I instinctively knew it; Without my understanding one tiny little speck of "real" knowledge of Leather and Gay Male BDSM.

I recently heard that they (Whomever THEY are...) are now considering some other catch phrase to replace "Safe, Sane and Consensual" that speaks to this risk. I find that it's rather surprising grown mature adults still want to talk in catch phrases and buzz words instead of simply setting a god damned good example and communicating their "real" experience in Leather by their day to day actions, not their politics.

So, how do YOU minimize this risk, this danger, and build trust and... get the fuck on with it all? Look towards the traditional Leather House that has provided those answers.

Understanding Roles
I consider a Leather Role not as an act you put on to get what you want. I think of it as a structure to help clearly communicate what is in your heart and mind and what your needs are and how much you believe in yourself; It’s a set of directions on a path. Now, you might be thinking that Teddy Pig has turned into Shirley Fuck’in MacLaine and you might be right. Leather Protocol does not directly come right out and map all the things involved with a Role for you.
It is so basic that... well... like some of the rules I already addressed.

A bottom wearing a collar is a slave and belongs to the owner of the collar who has the keys.

Other Tops are not to engage a collared bottom in conversation.

See, how they state something about roles, in this case one concerning bottoms and one concerning Tops… direct and to a point and then by following that concept you can hopefully catch the common sense extensions of what is being said. Then I'll start spewing jargon at you like Top/Master and bottom/slave and leave you sitting there wondering what the difference really is.

Guy Baldwin in his article states something actually quite minor, valid but minor, but it's the way that he phrases it that I think starts really defining a good base when looking at Leather.

Chaps indicate more commitment than Levi's, and leather pants more commitment than chaps.

Respect based on commitment... It's right there! I stated that concept to you earlier when I talked about collars..."A slave is an honored position of knowledge and experience and commitment to us bottoms, a slave to me is senior in any discussion and I would in public defer to them."

So I'm trying to point out the fact, Leather is all about levels of commitment and experience and not just simply, Tops are the owners and bottoms are the property, work it out. To understand Leather Roles one has to keep levels of commitment and experience in mind, not only in regards to the Roles themselves but how interactions extend from them.

I’ll list some miscellaneous esoteric rules out from Guy Baldwin’s article since they show these interactions we are discussing although you may not see these much, I was taught the general concepts and their use but I had little exposure to formal function; I have always thought them more Leather House oriented rules of conduct, which is where John got his training somewhere in the Chicago area. He never talked about it much; I got the hint it was some tragic loss to AIDS that caused him to move on. Much of our history has been lost this way.

Experience in the Leather Scene determines the seniority (Top or bottom).

Tops and experienced bottoms should be accorded higher respect, but bad behavior from anyone is never tolerated even from senior members in the Leather Scene.

Preliminary social contacts are conducted formally.

Seniors (Top or bottom) are not to be interrupted when in conversation.

Tops lead the conversation.

Junior Tops defer to senior Tops and senior bottoms in formal situations.

Junior bottoms defer to all others in the Leather Scene but never to outsiders.


Now there is something that is hinted at here I wanted to point out ... Tops that want to start out as Tops have it a lot harder initially starting out in the Leather Scene. John, my Top, was such a person. There are almost impossible odds against them. They have to be reassuring and in control and exude experience and responsibility to even attract a bottom and then they also have to quickly learn all the skills to focus and maintain focus on the bottom. The bottom's got it good. They simply follow directions and learn the ropes so to speak. That is why most good and experienced Tops have at one time been god damn awesome bottoms.

Tops starting out as Tops can take a little of the steep learning curve out of the equation by... (Here's where I delve back into advanced information.) Becoming a junior Top to a more senior Top who is established in an existing Gay Male BDSM couple or by finding and joining a Leather House, like John did. This whole junior/senior Top thing is also useful for another more difficult transition, but we will get there in my take on "switching".


When YOU start out in any Leather Relationship, with no experience, you are looking at a Top/bottom role. These Roles are not 24/7, not initially, it takes allot of work to maintain the Top role and from my experience, in a bottom role, this is also the truth. Even though you do eventually learn the habits, the protocol, even the Top's particular expectations of the role as second nature it's not easy to pickup there is no instant gratification in doing these things and it can take years to get it all down, from my view at least. Add to that difficulty of learning, the idea of having to maintain these roles from the start fulltime with no time-outs or downtime? Nice fantasy but not likely to happen.

This is where you get your initial training in being a Leatherman, the actions that are expected of you and how you should behave and most important... Is this something you really want to do and believe in? Top/bottom relationships are at the very beginning roughly following the old axiom "The bottom are always in control." because it is here that negotiations between Top and bottom are expected and required. This is where I once said that most Tops I have met do not get off on, or perform every one of the following: fist fuck whip flog watersports scat gangbang bind suspend shave piercing etc etc etc.
Most bottoms I know do not get off on or provide every one of the following: fist fuck whip flog watersports scat gangbang bind suspend shave piercing etc etc etc.

Anyway, the initial part of the Top/bottom relationship is where all this becomes defined and explored. You'll learn things like... As a bottom, never buy your Top toys... Because you should allow the Top to select what it is you two shall play with. The action itself seems innocent and caring enough, but always review your intent and what you want your actions tocommunicate. Gift certificates work dude!

That’s enough hints Heloise, I'll end this section with your last hard ass rule...

A Top always keeps his bottom recyclable.
I'm not really talking piercing here, ok. The bottom should ALWAYS be able to trust the Top and at the bare minimum expect to be able to leave the relationship in the exact same shape or even better shape than he came to him in. Branding is sort of a permanent deal, so are a lot of other things I have seen and heard about. I'm not saying these things cannot be negotiated EVENTUALLY but I would make damn sure we are going to make those decisions together with a lot of care for a while, remember my warning about physical and emotional scars.
At least hold off until the next part...

Master/slave Roles
I have already gone into the basics of what collars mean and what my experience has been in seeing that commitment as the first steps towards the Master/slave role. Simply take all the basics you see here and expect them to be absolutely understood, followed to the letter, believed in and eventually lived out on a daily basis. The point I think I have left to make for this area without much experience on my part is that the old axiom "The bottoms are always in control." falls by the wayside somewhere in all this. It is not a hard fast truth. YOU as a bottom by making a decision, a commitment (Here I go, back to where I started.) to hopefully, a good, caring Top, ultimately YOU take on the Tops limits, the Tops goals, and thus leave behind your own. When you feel that cold chain around your neck and the lock snaps, it should be the happiest day of your life and the last day you ever doubt what is expected. About the whole "safe word" thing... Oh please, IF you have any real experience in Leather, that deep connection you will develop with your Top, yeah the one I keep talking about, is ten times more important and dramatic to your successfully becoming a bottom. If you can make it, you will go further than I am sure you currently think you can, if not it will never happen for you. Those are what I consider the first steps to becoming a slave or at least the type of slave I was taught to hold in respect.
I'll just let some of those advanced ideas sink in.

Monogamy
Leather Protocol does not define whether you are monogamous or not because it is not about sex or emotional relationships; The Top actually defines this, but of course the bottoms needs are taken into account if the relationship involves emotional attachments and not just training, at least at first. What Leather Protocol does do along with the actual mechanics of Gay Male BDSM relationships is define how interactions of all types can take place with respect for all involved and how to look at them in a healthy manner.

Here are some hard fast truths... Collars are not wedding rings (But on the other hand, I personally never PLAY with collars, it just comes across as disrespectful to the commitments I would make inregards to the Top in the scene.) and Top/bottom relationships and interactions are not always about sex. Disregard those stereotypes when looking at Leather Roles and you are half way there.

My own experience as a bottom is that it is good to keep your jealousy and possessiveness in check first by recognizing you are prone to jealousy and possessiveness, such as myself, and then keeping it in that balance between heart and head. Also, it is of utmost importance to maintain clear communications with the Top in regards to it and anything else. Gay Male BDSM is all about the focus; What are you focused on, yourself or your Top? If it's the Top then anyone he brings into a Leather Scene non-sexually should not cause issue with that focus. You are his
Property and you are there for him and he is focused on you and communicating with you through that connection... What's the issue?

When it comes to emotional and sexual openness, this is more defined by your relationship and arrangements outside the Roles, but here's a hint... Um, most people in the Leather Scene tend to not be into "games of possession” when it comes to relationships. I myself tend to have open relationships that for all intents and purposes look just like closed ones. Hey I'm old and experienced and I just don't want to throw a good relationship out the door due to minor issues like; I was not there so he got a blowjob when he was drunk at the bar... so bye-bye eight year relationship and all the emotional balance in my life. NOT! Hey, there is someone out there for everyone. I just don't want to set your expectations too high if YOU are still dealing with this as an issue.

And Now About Switching
Here's the rule usually mentioned in regards to switching Leather Roles...

Those who "switch" are second-class players and not to be taken as seriously. If you must switch, do so in another town or another bar... blah blah blah

Now Players man… they never get respect anyway; they are here today and gone tomorrow and get treated just that way… imagine that! Your Role in a Leather Community defines the interactions of those around you. So, can you see how suddenly changing your chosen Leather Role might create the impression of not being trust worthy?

Remember Leather Protocol and all it's basic tenets are centered around clear and concise, honest communication of who you are and to facilitate trust. That does not mean once in a Role you are stuck... Nope, as long as you put a great deal of effort into making the change in an acceptable fashion.

Can you pickup from what I've just told you about hierarchies and see how this is done? Senior and junior Tops in training? bottoms becoming Tops? Happens you know, but not in a fly-by-night manner. Can a junior Top, bottom for a senior Top and the arrangement just goes on forever? Ummm yes... but you did not hear that one from me. No way! I'm a bottom damn it! We don't have a clue! The most normal transition usually recognized is for an experienced bottom to take on a junior bottom thus... you guessed it... viola! Insta-Top!

Last rule...

Real Leathermen keep their word and they do not borrow or lend money; they conduct their affairs with honor and integrity…most importantly; Leathermen don't lie.

Good words to live by and an excellent summary of John.

Table of Contents:
Breaking Silence
Wearing Yourself Out
Belonging
Outside Looking In
The Drawing Of The Line

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